Moving between Guilt and Grace
Last night, I dreamt I was trapped in a swamp. No matter how tightly I held on or how much I struggled, the muddy depths pulled me deeper. The harder I fought, the more I felt myself slipping—losing grip, slipping into darkness. Then, somewhere in that struggle, I saw a gentle hand reaching out. I reached for it, but my hold felt unsteady. I realised something deeper: it wasn’t just the swamp pulling me down—it was my own guilt and shame making me afraid to hold on fully
This dream mirrors a common struggle on the Krishna conscious path. When lust, ego, or anger trap us, we try to chant, to remember Krishna’s Holy Name, but the weight of shame creeps in. The mind whispers, “You failed again. You are not worthy of calling Him.” Instead of holding tight, we let go, or we become afraid to even grasp His Name. That slipping away—losing the grip—happens because guilt sidelines our faith.
The Realisation: Keep Chanting, Whatever Happens
Waking up from this half-sleep state brought a powerful insight: I can’t let guilt stop me from chanting. Even if I fail or make mistakes, I should keep taking the Name again and again. Just like a child learning to walk, it’s okay to stumble. Instead of being trapped in self-judgment, the wiser choice is to keep chanting and accept the challenges that come with it.
This is not about being perfect or escaping consequences like a shirking soul. It’s about being brave enough to keep calling out, trusting that Krishna’s mercy is greater than our falls. The shift is from fighting the swamp alone to becoming a humble observer of my failures—without drowning in shame. I accept that mistakes may come, and if there’s a price, I am ready to face it. But I will not stop chanting His Name.
A Shloka to Reflect On – Bhagavad Gita 7.14
दैवी ह्येषा गुणमयी मम माया दुरत्यया ।
मामेव ये प्रपद्यन्ते मायामेतां तरन्ति ते ॥Bhagavad Gita 7.14
“This divine energy of Mine, consisting of the three modes of material nature, is difficult to overcome. But those who have surrendered unto Me can easily cross beyond it.””
These verses remind us that surrender to Krishna and chanting His Holy Name are the strongest forces to overcome illusion and Maya’s hold, no matter how many times we falter.
Embracing the Struggle on the Path
This dance between losing and regaining the grip of Krishna’s Name is part of our spiritual journey. The more we struggle with feelings of unworthiness, the more important it becomes to keep chanting—without harsh judgment on ourselves.
Rather than letting guilt chain us, we can gently shift to observing the struggle within us. Becoming an observer means noticing our feelings of shame and failure without being trapped by them. This step back creates space to reach for the Name again, even if the grip feels weak at first.
By continuing to chant sincerely, we allow Krishna’s mercy to work within us. We acknowledge our imperfections, accept whatever comes as part of the process, and hold on to the truth that the Name itself is the liberating hand pulling us from the swamp.
A Treasures from Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta for Your Heart
ceto-darpaṇa-mārjanaṁ bhava-mahā-dāvāgni-nirvāpaṇaṁ
śreyaḥ-kairava-candrikā-vitaraṇaṁ vidyā-vadhū-jīvanam
ānandāmbudhi-vardhanaṁ prati-padaṁ pūrṇāmṛtāsvādanaṁ
sarvātma-snapanaṁ paraṁ vijayate śrī-kṛṣṇa-saṅkīrtanam ॥CC Antya 20.12
“Let there be all victory for the chanting of the holy name of Lord Kṛṣṇa, which can cleanse the mirror of the heart and stop the miseries of the blazing fire of material existence. That chanting is the waxing moon that spreads the white lotus of good fortune for all living entities. It is the life and soul of all education. The chanting of the holy name of Kṛṣṇa expands the blissful ocean of transcendental life. It gives a cooling effect to everyone and enables one to taste full nectar at every step.’
Key Takeaway
When shame and guilt cause you to lose grip on Krishna’s Holy Name, remember: Keep chanting regardless. Accept imperfection, face consequences if needed, but never stop holding on to the Name.
Your Journey
Have there been times when guilt or shame made chanting feel impossible? What helps you regain your hold on Krishna’s Name when the mind tries to pull you away? Your honest reflections could inspire others on the path.
